Rita Ivanovna Kalancha

The tribute to my dear beloved Mother the true embodiment of the Divine Mother. The way I will always remember my Mother is as a brave, courageous, outspoken woman, an independent and intelligent thinker, a wise scientist, full of heart and super sharp sense of humor. She was always wise, always. She had own very unique way of speaking and writing. And her sense of accomplishment and love for life was super contagious. For my mother there were no restrictions, nothing could stop her if she wanted to achieve it. She was a true warrior for her self, for her family. She was born in 1938, on the 27th of May in Novoselitsa, Besarabia which belonged to Romania at that time. He mother Tamara was only 17years old. Her father Ivan was a school teacher who was 24 at that time. My mom was born out of great love and passion which I think I inherited back from my grandmother. Tamara was young, way too long. Yet from that beautiful, passionate connection with her first love my mother was born. Times where not easy as you can imagine. World War II was on its way. Besides my grandmother was a child herself. My mother got the name Horetta because my grandmother wanted to name her baby after Greta Garbo. But they had no clue how to spell her name. Later she was baptized as Emilia because Russian Orthodox Church did not recognize her name as the one suitable for baptizing. Later on with changing of the governments my mom's name ended up to be Margarita and later Rita. I knew her always as Rita. So baby Horetta, at that time, was mostly spending her time with her grandmother Katia (original name Elizaveta. perhaps it was a family trait to give names and then use other names in real life). When my mother was 3 years old her father was tragically killed. To this day we do not know who and why he was killed. The story I know is that he was a very intelligent man and was quite pro Ukrainian in terms that he wanted Ukraine to be an independent country free from communist regime. Yet the communists where roaming around and it was said that one day they took him to the forest and killed him. So, my mom basically spent all her time with her grandmother. The story goes that Tamara met a Romanian military man who also was lawyer. The times were not easy. My great-grandmother Katia besides looking after my mother also had to look after children of her own (she had 5 children). They ended up in evacuation in Romania. Yet after the world war 2 ended they were forced to return home. My mom's mother stayed in Romania with her new husband. And thus the separation by border began because Besarabia ended up being part of Ukraine which was part of Soviet Union back then. My great grand mother Katia struggled a lot bringing up so many children. She shortly lost her husband and was left on her now. My mother never spoke about her childhood. All she said that it was horrible. People did not treat her with love. She always felt like an orphan. Her biggest wish as a child was to have parents. But that was not possible. My mother loved her grandmother as her own mother. She knew that all she had to do to survive was to study. And indeed she was the smartest child at school. She would wake up really early and come to school before it even opened its doors. She was such a bright child. She finished secondary school with honors'. At about the same time her mother Tamara was tragically killed in Bucharest in Romania. We know that her husband killed her but the true details remained a mystery to us. I have done so much healing on this part of our family that all we have now is love, peace and true forgiveness for the tragedy that happened back then. Tamara had another child which was my mom's half brother Dan. He grew up in Romania. Later on Dan emigrated to United State where my mother and him met after so many years of separation and family misunderstandings. After graduating from secondary school my mother entered the medical institute in Chernivtsy. She wanted to become a doctor. And she was a brilliant student at the medical school. Every holiday she worked to make money to support her study. She loved medicine and loved helping people. Her dream was to become a gynecologists'. But her life was changed when she met my father Kalin. I know my father really loved her. He was 4 years older than her, but he was 2 years behind her at the medical institute. He was also studying to become a doctor. My mother was a very beautiful lady with stunning feminine body. They got married when my mom was ready to graduate. After her graduation she had to accept an intern position as a pediatrician in Moldova so she could stay behind and see my father at least on the weekends. At that time young doctors after graduation were sent to the different locations in Soviet Union where was the need of doctors. Thus my mom had to let go of her dream as a gynecologists' and became a pediatrician. Soon she had her first baby - my brother Ivan. After two years my father graduated as a doctor and both of them went to live in Tinnoe, Rovno region. 3 years after my brother my mom gave birth to my sister Viktoriya. Life in Tnnnoe was quite interesting for a young couple. My father was a leading doctor in the local hospital. My mother was a pediatrician there. They both were well regarded. My mom used to tell stories of how much they partied there and also how many lives they saved there. At one point my mom and my dad decided that they wanted to live in a bigger city. So they moved to Rivne. And this is where I was born. Actually before I was born my mother started to work on her dream. She started to work on her thesis for the PHD program in pediatrics. That in itself was quite a courageous move. She had two children and she was not even in the big city to conduct the research. Everyone used to tell her that she would cool down soon and give up. But not so easy with my mother. When she wanted to do something there was nothing to stop her. Maybe because she was an orphan and knew that she just had to go and get it for herself, that there was no-one there to stand behind her. I just know this super power of my mother.. She was unstoppable. She became pregnant with me. While pregnant she used to travel to the country to gather research data for her thesis. I was the silent witness of her struggles and pure inner determination to make her dream come true. I was born in 1974 and my mother looked after me till I was 12 months old. After that I was left with my grandmother Mamuka so she could continue her work and also her research. I know that my mother had to change her scientific adviser because the one she had was no good at guiding her. I know that scientist where mesmerized by her research, of how much she had done on her own. And I know that she won a teaching position at the medical institute in Chernivtsi and we all moved to Chernivtsi in 1981. When I was 9 years old I went with my mother to Kyiv where she received her Ph.D. certificate. When her name was called to get her certificate she told me to stay behind the door and wait for her. Yet when my mom was on her way to the assembly I followed her. I ran after her and the whole scientific gathering started clapping. Somehow I think I was part of this quest. She started it with me inside of her. And I really deserved to be there when she finally received her certificate of achievement . The name of her thesis was "profilactica bolezney detei na sele" which was published as a separate book. Our life in Chernivtsi was good. I mean as good as it could be in Soviet Union. My mom was always busy and she struggled being a mother at home and also being a doctor and a scientist at the same time. She published numerous scientific articles though. She healed so many children and saved many many lives. She was actively supporting my brother and my sister studying to become doctors as well. Her children were her life. She gave everything what she had to her children. A total selfless dedication to her family. Time came and my mother started to feel the burden of her two jobs. She stopped her clinical job and focused only on teaching at the medical institute. During that time mom was the best. She would cook a lot and generally care more. She was calmer and she was more present for us as a mother. As a child I always wanted to be as wise, successful and goal oriented as my mother.. She was my heroes, She was someone I aspired to become. I remember when I was graduating from my secondary school I was supposed to be eligible to receive a gold medal (a very special award you can receive). Yet somehow the teachers at school where trying to push me down and give me just a silver medal. So my mother went to call the education department and disputed the teachers decision. They called a special assembly of teachers and the decision was made to give me the gold medal. Basically in my life I always knew if I needed some help I would go to my mother and she would turn the world upside down but would do it for me. She was the unstoppable force, the courage without any boundaries. She worked tirelessly and gave every single penny to her children. When I had to emigrate to United States my mother gave me her last money and she told me "Please make sure not to get stuck in the rut there." She always believed in me that I could do great in life. Yet my life went by its own course. The path I chose was not easy. I had to go through abusive relationship which I never spoke to her about it. When finally I started to get out of the abusive relationship I got all the support from her. She encouraged me throughout all my life. She was there for me like a truth detector. I could never talk to my mother without any substance. She was a person of full integrity. I could not call her and just do some small talk. We had the conversations of queens with her. She was royal in her character. She was royal in the way she carried herself and in the way she dealt with life. Her love for life was so deep. She loved great food and had the best sense of fashion. From her I picked up my sense of fashion and my love for beautiful clothing. She was never a surface person. She thought me always to look for the fabric content in the clothes I buy. Always look what kind of food you are eating. Look for the true content. Her advises where always the best advises I could get. Not always I embraced them as they clashed with my ego. But in retrospect my mother was the wise one. Her wisdom will be missed in my life. I do trust that her undying soul transitioned in peace through the blue ether. Her love, her prayers, her wisdom will stay with me until I transition myself. I know she wanted to name me Maria. She always knew me so well even though for a very long period of time I did not feel the connection with her. She was someone I always wanted to love dearly, always wanted to be with so dearly. So many times I gave her hard time in this life and she always forgave me. She never kept the grudge. She taught me true forgiveness . From her I learned to settle my grudges every evening. From her I learned what true compassion is, the love of the heart. She knew who I was from the very beginning of my life. And only at age of 46 I got my spiritual name Sita which is the same as Maria - the Universal Mother. Perhaps at the time of birth I was not ready to embody this name. But my mother held the light for me during the darkest times of my life she never stopped praying for me. I find solace that she is in the better place, fully connected to her truth, to her enteral Self and fully merged with the Divine Mother. She knew who I was from the very beginning of my life. And only at age of 46 I got my spiritual name Sita which is the same as Maria - the Universal Mother. Perhaps at the time of birth I was not ready to embody this name. But my mother held the light for me during the darkest times of my life she never stopped praying for me. I find solace that she is in the better place, fully connected to her truth, to her enteral Self and fully merged with the Divine Mother. She knew who I was from the very beginning of my life and only at the age of 46 I got my spiritual name of Sita, which is the same meaning of Maria-the Universal Mother. Perhaps at the time of birth I was not ready to embody this name, but my Mother held the light for me during the darkest times of my life and she never stopped praying for me. I find solace that she is in the better place, fully connected to her truth, to her eternal Self and fully merged with the Divine Mother. Until we see each other again. My love will never end for you.