Donald Mcvey

DONALD DANIEL MCVEY, 78 Don passed away at 12:30 pm on Friday, August 23rd at the North Idaho Advanced Care Hospital in Post Falls, Idaho. According to tradition I should be listing where he was born and who his survivors are at this point: but, whenever I would read the obituaries my morbid curiosity was always asking "What did he/she die from?" I would search the "in lieu ofs" and "donations may be" section for clues and usually still be in the dark. Another of my frustrations with the usual obituary is that they are so cut and dried and usually devoid of any sense of the person, Don was a unique character, much loved and always with a tease and smile even to the last days. If you were lucky to have known him in life, I hope that this obituary rings true for you. ..Don died of a massive heart attack during a dialysis treatment in hospital. He had been admitted to Kootenai Hospital on July 27 suffering with pneumonia and a COPD flare-up: by Aug. 7th Don was well enough to be transferred to the "step-down" hospital in Post Falls to give him the last tweaks of physical and respiratory therapy in order to recoup the strength he had had prior to his hospitalization. Until a few days before his passing he was doing so well that there was talk of discharging him this week. Alas, fate had other plans and his passing was very sudden and unexpected. Don was born in Ronan Montana on September 15, 1934 to Jack and Adeline McVey. His parents marriage was a tempestuous one and although at one point he and his sister were kidnapped by his father, all was well that ended well - Jackie was immediately returned to her mother and after a good long stint in a Catholic Boarding School in Wallace Idaho so was Don. Fortunately, both his parents ended up very happily divorced and each went on to marry far more suitable people. But times were tough back then and Don spent a good percentage of his youth farmed out to farmers and ranchers to help with the haying and the everyday chores. Nobody seemed to have had much money in those days but from the stories he 's told of his youth he seems to have had a young life full of horses, goats, dogs, chores and chocolate cakes (his personal favorite) and happy stories of the wonderful people who took him in. His workaholic nature was in evidence even as a youth: he established area records for haying and the land owners vied for hiring him. Don married three times in his lifetime: first he married his high school sweetheart, Donna Mae Carey of Charlo, Montana in 1953 and they had 2 children Denies (born 1960) and Douglas (1962). They married while Don was in the Navy. After his military years Don ended up attending Kinman Business College in Spokane and working part time in a sawmill to make ends meet. Don and Donna Mae were both too young for the marriage to survive so after divorcing, Donna Mae went on to meet and marry her soul-mate Jim in 1976. Sadly, Donna passed away in October of 2011. Besides the children and the friendship, another bonus of Don's first marriage was his in-laws, the fabulous Carey clan whom he kept on and shared as relatives through the years. Little is known about Don's second marriage to Hilda T. other than that the relationship was a very unhappy one: Don's youngest son Daniel was born of this union and in his 30s is still finding himself in Jacksonville Florida. Don got together with me, his third wife and current widow Michelle (nee Simmons) in 1989. The stars must have aligned because we shared nearly 25 years of happiness. Since both of us had wed numerous times and could have been considered "marriage practitioners" we each considered ourselves lucky to have finally found someone who would not only put up with us, but unconditionally love us and be our better halves. Don is survived by his sister Jackie Engle who lives in Happy Valley, Oregon. His parents and stepparents have of course predeceased him, as has grandson Zach who was lost to a tragic incident in September of 2004 Son Doug is living in Sacramento CA and has one of the Don's grandsons, Cooper. Denies lives in Camptonville CA and produced 2 of the grandchildren, Kourtney and Zach. Kourtney lives in Olivehurst with her husband Shane Wilde and the four great-grandchildren Dylan, Dorian, Andrea and Kyra: Dan in turn contributed 3 grandchildren, Daniel Junior and Andrea both of whom live with their mother Rose in Maryland and granddaughter Zoe who lives with her mother Nicole in Florida. Other "Children of Don's heart" who were loved by him and who will miss him terribly are his son-in-law Allen Yelton and my children, Sonja and Tristan Horte. Dan's half-sister Debbie had a special place in Don's heart also. Unfortunately, Don never had the chance to spend time with his grandchildren or great- grandchildren other than Scoops: However, all Don's children, grandchildren and great- grandchildren are beautiful, bright and brilliant and how could they be anything but since they are blessed with great genes? Anyone who knew Don through or after his working years knew of his passion for sawmilling. Oh the stories. Everyone was "Tiger" and "If things were too tough for you, they were just right for me" and the solution to every problem was "patience, perseverance and sweet oil" Those in the sawmill industry who hadn't yet met him had heard of him. He was lucky enough to have discovered sawmill work as a young adult and was also fortunate enough to have had mentors along the way who recognized his talent, his thirst for knowledge and his incredible work ethic: they encouraged him by giving him the opportunity to learn all aspects of his trade from booming logs to management and this allowed him to go on to design and build state of the art sawmills in Passadumkeag, Maine and Prince George, British Columbia. His proudest achievement was the construction of Lakeland Mills in Prince George and having "his mill" go on to win the Canadian Award of Excellence. He managed to tour sawmills throughout the US, Canada, Germany and Scandinavia during his life and career and to meet sawmill managers from all over the world in his "own" mills. His last job came post retirement when as a sawmill consultant he went to Russia for a year at the turn of the millennium - he got the limo, the driver and the translator, I got the Russian phrase book! The true secret to Don's success as a manager was his ability to see the potential in every single individual and to make each of them feel like a vital cog in the machine: everyone who worked alongside or for him wanted to do their best so as to not disappoint himif they messed up he would make them jump in the "rig" and go for a ride around the log yard and have a little chat. His effect on people was rather uncanny: He loved people and they in turn loved him. It is my understanding that on the job there were times of pretty salty language, however, two major things stand out as I am writing this..in the 25 years of our relationship, I never heard him use profane language and I never heard him speak negatively about another living soul. He really practiced the maxim," If you can't say something nice Poor health shrinks your immediate circle of friends and acquaintances so I am opting to not have services at this time. It was his wish to be cremated and if he was to be buried or scattered it would be with the ashes of his beloved Ruffi, his Oorang Airedale who we had to put to sleep in September of 2008. I am opting to keep his urn with me along with Ruffi's. I don't know where my life will take me in the future and I cannot conceive of leaving either of them behind. They will stay with me along with my mother's ashes when it is her time. The parlor armoire is turning into an "ashes cabinet" but for all of you who are experiencing a twinge of alarm at this - NO, I am not setting up a shrine and YES, I will move on from my loss. When people die from complications brought on by long illnesses, one of our first sentiments is what "a blessing" it is that that person is no longer suffering; not so with McVey. Although Don's health was extremely poor from April 2009 to his passing- he and I would (quite truthfully) joke that the only healthy parts of his body were his right big toe and his liver (this will come as a huge surprise to those who knew him back when!) - He loved life and loved living. . Medically, Don outlived his time: Logically, we all have to die: Emotionally, Don had everyone convinced that he was immortal. In a way the knowledge of how fiercely he wanted to live makes his passing that much harder to handle. At least a few times a week he would tell me he loved and appreciated my presence and companionship. He was my heart and I feel blessed to have been his wife. I will miss you horribly my darling, Michelle McVey, August 26, 2013